The Quiet Strengths Audit helps you transform "too nice" into "strategically positioned." Here's why and how each step is effective.
Why This Exercise Works
The Quiet Strengths Audit integrates proven techniques from psychological science to help you leverage who you are naturally. Instead of fighting your tendencies, you learn when your tendencies are your strengths and when you need to stretch beyond them.
This way, you can be more of who you are naturally while also being effective when you need to push yourself.
Here's the psychology behind each step:
Step 1: Pick a Specific Tendency
Why this works: Starting with one specific tendency forces you to focus. There's no research backing the exact approach, but it makes intuitive sense—you need to start somewhere concrete rather than trying to analyze your entire personality at once.
Step 2: Create Two Columns (Helps vs. Hinders)
Why this works: This step forces you to think about your tendency in black and white terms. You might think, “Shouldn't I be more nuanced about this?”
Nuance is great, but this binary choice forces you to recognize this: the very same tendency that you find challenging in some situations, is also empowering you in other situations.
Most people see their tendencies as either "bad" or as "good." This exercise introduces nuance at the highest level by nudging you to see how each tendency can help (“is good”) and hinder you (“is bad”).
Go pro and ask yourself how this tendency helps or hinders you across situations. This leverages what I call "The Psychology of Everything”, so you see the same trait through different situational lenses.
This approach mirrors established techniques in clinical psychology. It's similar to Socratic Questioning, where you examine beliefs from multiple angles.[^2]
Step 3: Identify Patterns
Why this works: In Steps 1 and 2, you examined your broad tendency. Now it's time to recognize patterns in what you discovered.
Our working memory is famously limited[^1]. We need to mentally "chunk" information to make sense of even simple information. So the question is: What patterns do you see in your table?
You don't want to get stuck with a list of 20 individual entries—that leads to information overload. Instead, you're looking for links, or patterns that seem to repeat across situations.
For example, you might realize that your tendency to multitask helps you thrive in stressful situations. But it challenges you when you have unstructured free time with no clear priorities, or on tasks that require you to focus consistently and over large periods of time.
Step 4: Understand the Purpose
Why this works: One challenge in life is learning to live with yourself, to accept your quirks, limitations, and your challenges. Being kind to yourself helps you grow, and this can show you where certain tendencies come from.
This helps you see how your tendency either:
- Serves a function you don't typically recognize, or
- Has once served a function in the past, even if this tendency now no longer serves its original purpose
Tendencies can also have strong genetic origins. Whatever the source, trying to understand how a tendency helps you now, has helped you in the past, or where it might come from can help you thrive.
Step 5: Create Behavioral Intentions
Why this works: It's not enough to set a goal to be "better." The clearer you can be about when, how, and why, the more likely you are to act in ways that help you achieve your goal. Goal-setting research suggests that you should set implementation intentions to create new habits or change ongoing actions [^3]. This means you clearly know for yourself when, where, and how you want to behave in a specific way.
Instead of saying "I will do more ABC," say "In next Friday's leadership meeting, I will do ABC."
Leverage this in your Quiet Strengths Audit by making it clear when, how, and why you will lean into your tendency or push against it.
Conclusion
The Quiet Strengths Audit helps you find your thrive, leverage your strengths, and excel even in situations that are challenging for you. Each step builds on established psychological principles to create lasting insight and help you live with your tendencies.
References & Sources
💡 Can't access these studies due to paywalls? Here's how to legally access research papers for free, and here's why accessing papers costs $40 in the first place.
- Miller, A. G. (1956). The magical number seven, plus or minus two: Some limits on our capacity for processing information. Psychological Review, 63(2), 81–97. https://doi.org/10.1037/h0043158
- Beck, J. S., & Beck, J. S. (2011). Cognitive behavior therapy: Basics and beyond (2nd ed). Guilford Press. (See for example, p. 214-227 for Socratic Questioning techniques)
- Webb, T. L., & Sheeran, P. (2006). Does changing behavioral intentions engender behavior change? A meta-analysis of the experimental evidence. Psychological Bulletin, 132(2), 249–268. https://doi.org/10.1037/0033-2909.132.2.249